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Building A Successful And Healthy Marriage For Family Business Sustainability

The decision to get married is usually between two mature people. Marriage is a place where you should be held responsible for your decisions.

Marriage is not made in heaven, it only happens here on earth when two people make their minds to make it work together. A successful marriage will usually include children and a home life that provides a healthy emotional climate for them. Through children, marriage happiness is extended, and perpetuated Landis and Landis (1986).

Building A Successful And Healthy Marriage For Family Business Sustainability

They further said that one important element in the pattern of successful marriage is the commitment of the partners to a permanent union. Successful marriage do not result, if people go into marriage with reservations. They also suggested that successful cooperation is not possible when limitation are set upon the vows taken on the wedding day.

For successful marriage to come in, the couples should realize that marriage does not remain static. New understanding and new adjustments continues to be necessary at each stage of life, and each stage will have its own special requirements, pressures, and rewards. Quite universally, married couples are confronted with series of life situations that require them to arise to challenges in their relationships – to change, to bend and to adjust. It is a commitment for life therefore for a successful and healthy marriage to exist, couples should take cognizance of the following point discussed by (Chibundu 2004).

Commitment

Successful couples view their marriage as a permanent union. When a problem arises, they strive to solve it rather than use it as an excuse to abandon the marriage. When spouses have a sense of commitment, they feel secure. Each trusts that the other will continue to honour the union. In many ways, commitment is the backbone of a marriage relationship. Committed couples easily resolve marital conflict. Think of one or two actions you could take to strengthen your commitment. You could write an occasional note to your spouse, keep pictures of your spouses on display at work, or call your spouses each day from work, just to stay in touch.

Respect your spouses

Both troubled and successful families have disagreements. But successful families discuss matters without resorting to sarcasm, insults, and other forms of abusive speech. Family members should treat one another as they would like to be treated.

Nwoye (1991) said that conflict habituated family is characterized by quarrelling, nagging, open exchange of verbal conflicts and inter-spouse fighting which may result to death. There is harmony and mutual respect in a healthy marriage relationship. Words can become weapons producing devastating effects when wrongly expressed. It is better to be living in a vast land, than with a bitter tongued and angry woman Proverbs 21:119. Think of the goals you could set with regard to showing respect in your speech. In parenting, think of some limit you can set so that you do not use abusive speech when communicating with your children.

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Be Courteous

Marriage union is where courtesy minst be shown to one’s partner. Your decision to commit your life to one weather requires that you learn to show respect to your partner. The enables you to blend into one another. Those who grew up in the atmosphere where it was the culture to say “excuse me “I’m sorry” “thank you” and so on should begin to blend with those who may not have had such training, and in humility impact to them how to behave properly. Perfectionists do not make good homes. Nobody is infallible. Courtesy helps to make marriage union healthy.

Team work

Successful couples respect God’s headship arrangement. Ephesians 5:22-24. both husband and wife should view their marriage in terms of “ours” and “we” rather than “mine” and “me”. When there is team work, husband and wife are no longer single at heart but one flesh. If you and your spouse are not a team, minor events may quickly become major issues with each of you attacking the other rather than the problem at hand. In contrast, when you and your spouse are a team, like every good football team you will always excel. When you disagree, you easily work out practical solutions instead of wasting time and emotional energy blaming and accusing.

Be mature and responsible

A successful marriage requires high level of maturity and responsibility in dealing with each other. In successful families, husbands and wives make allowances for each other’s mistakes. They are also neither unduly rigid nor overly permissive with their children. They set a modest number of household rules. When correction is needed, they give it “to the proper degree.”

God himself does not demand perfection from imperfect humans, so why should a married couple demand it from each other. Really nitpicking over minor faults only produces resentment, not improvement. It is best to accept the fact that “we all stumble many times”.

Successful parents display a sense of responsibile when dealing with their children. They grant freedom to adolescents who demonstrate senses of responsibility.

Forgiveness

Responsible couples learn from the past, and do not keep track of old grievances and them use it to make sweeping assertions, such as “you are always late” or “you never listen Both believe that it is always good to forgive one’s mistake God is “ready to forgive” but that is not always so with humans. Old wrong left unresolved can produce layers of resentment that accumulate to the point where forgiveness seems impossible. At this point each spouse may retreat into an emotional corner remaining callous to the others feeling. Both feel trapped in a loveless marriage just because they refuse to forgive each other.

To forgive your partner endeavour to look at old photographs of you and your spouse taken earlier in your marriage or during your courtship. Try to remember the warmth relationship that existed between both of you before problem crept in and clouded your view. Then think of the qualities that first attracted you to your spouse. Think of the qualities you most admire about your spouse now. And also think of some possible affects that your been a more forgiving person might have on your children. Some of these tips could help couples to forgive each other and create a healthy marriage relationship.

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Right priorities

For marriage to be successful each spouse should put the other’s needs ahead of self, possessions, job, friends, and even other relatives. In a healthy marriage husband and wife spent much of their time with each other and with their children. Both are willing to make sacrifices for the interests of the family.

Communicate and listen attentively

Good communication helps to build up marriage while lack of it breaks it. Misunderstanding and conflicts come into marriage because of communication barriers and gaps. You learn and understand your partner through effective communication. Through effective communication you can learn what you lack from your background from your spouse

Also couples should endeavour to be good listeners as to understand each other better not to listen in order to defend yourself. What one says can be taken to a dimension that he never intended, so think before you open your month to express your feelings. Words inflict more wounds than the gun, especially in marriage.

Be sensitive

Be sensitive to changes that take place in your partner. Your partners taste must be respected. You should expect behavioural changes from your partner as time changes. This could be due to age, taste and other present preoccupations. What it takes to begin a marriage is not what it takes to continue. As years go by, so many things change with time. Adjustments therefore are endless. You change when your wife becomes pregnant, when a child is born, and changes come when the children are more. Roles of partners may also change with years and age.

For your marriage to be successful, expect all manner of changes and expectations. You must go forward and be sensitive to changing trend in your relationship.

Be ready to change

In marriage change is constant. Learning process continues from the beginning of marriage to the end. No individual can say that he is perfect in marriage. It calls for refilling and changes that will suit your spouse otherwise there will be constant power tussule and personality clash.

A woman is man’s helper in the home, and not to become a leader. If she is pushed into a leadership position, there will be problem. The family will experience conflict if she is saddled with the burden of school fees, house rent, car maintenance expenses, feeding and other home expenses. The man should assume the responsibility of family matters while the woman will help him succeed.

The man should recognize the woman’s position and define her roles in the family. Her development should be geared towards the development of her potentials to be your helper. Equal justice is required in a successful family. Hughes (1996) opines that for marriage to be successful, the couples must do the following:

  • Focus on learning how to control anger
  • Focus on tackling the conflict – not each other
  • Decide to deal with conflict issues as soon as possible after they occur
  • Be prepared to admit when they are wrong
  • Focus on the solutions, not only on the problems
  • Find all problems in marriage by an act of forgiveness.

Jegede (1991) contends that a family or a marriage can be viewed as a house supported by Pillars. The success or stability of the house, its ability to withstand the rain and the wind and other stresses, depends on the strength of the pillars. He suggested eleven conditions or eleven pillars to successful married life. He also said that weakness of any of these pillars affects the strength or stability of the marriage. They are; love, communication, commitment, conflict resolution, compatibility, acceptance of one’s spouse, acceptance of roles and responsibilities, Goals, Attitude to money and possessions, Having fun together, and finally putting God first in every thing.

Nwoye (1991) also suggest that “the traditional aspiration of all young couples is to achieve lasting unity in their marriage. Achieving such objectives in marriage however requires from such couples not only the willingness and readiness to do well in the said union but also the acquisition of the much needed information about which behaviour is appropriate, “Such ingredients or positive qualities that form building blocks of successful marriage according to Nwoye (1991) are: the will to succeed, healthy, intelligence, empathy, autonomy and perspectives, proper sense of judgment, tolerance an forgiveness.

Finally people who build successful marriages live creatively at each stage of life. During the dating years, they seek to understand themselves and other. As lovers, and newly married people they try to learn to perceive the needs and feelings of those they love. They learn to bend and adjust in order to develop relationships that give meaning to life. When children come, they are able to grow up to the challenges and responsibilities of parenthood, and yet cherish and nurture the relationship with their mates in such a way that the experience of parenthood enriches the marriage.

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An essential condition of successful marriage is growth in the couples. A continually expanding perception of the needs and feelings of others and an increasing ability and willingness to give acceptance, respect and cooperation.

Couples should reject any conception of life or relationship as static, they should perceive that people change and that the quality of a relationship is never absolutely set, hence they will discover with years of living that their interaction has the potential either for growth and improvement or for deteriorate and destructiveness. Also the whole review shows that marriage is the hand work of God and He made it that man and woman should enjoy it and glorify His name and work hard to make it a success, hence a successful marriage is possible.

Building A Successful And Healthy Marriage For Family Business Sustainability

As much as the aforementioned qualities are common things that could help build a successful marriage, these qualities could also help in sustaining a family business.

A couple with a family business going through marital crisis is sure to fail not just in marriage but in business as well. This has been the cause of the downfall of several businesses that are known to be doing well before now.

Couples should know that they are not only partners bound by marriage but they are also partners in business and they are to focus on balancing their business and marital lives as well as become role models to their employees and others who look up to them. Fights and nagging will only keep them at a spot and prevent them from moving forward.

Chris Esther

An experienced blogger whose top aim is to share knowledge and give out information.

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